Monday, August 1, 2011


Volunteer center: Good afternoon, this is the volunteer center, Pam speaking.

Simpleton:  Hello, Pam, this is Simpleton and I would like to leave a message for Margie about this afternoon's mentor meeting.

Volunteer center:  Oh, Margie does not work here. 

Simpleton:  I know, that is why I need to leave a message for her.

Volunteer center:  Oh, I thought that you wanted to leave a message on her voice mail.

Simpleton:  Does she have voice mail?

Volunteer center:  Uh, no.

Simpleton:  O.K., then could I leave a message for her?

Volunteer center:  Sure.

Simpleton:  O.K., please let her know that I cannot make this afternoon's meeting because my car is in the shop, awaiting repair.

Volunteer center:  O.K., your car is in the shop and you can't make today's meeting.

Simpleton:  My name is Simpleton.

Volunteer center:  Wait...wait a minute, I'm still writing..."in the shop."  Now, what's your name?

Simpleton:  Simpleton.

Volunteer center:  Can you spell that?

(I say my name, spell my name, say my name again, and she mispronounces it because most people do, my flesh name, that is.  It is only four letters and no one ever gets it right the first time, or even the next dozen or so times, so it is no big deal.  Besides, it is just a name.  It is a weird name and not a problem.)

Simpleton:  Well, thanks, and I hope you guys are cool enough today. (It is another blazing hot day here.)

Volunteer center:  Um, that is an unusual name, how do you pronounce it?

Simpleton:  Sim-puhl-ton (although I am actually saying my flesh name.)  And, do not worry about it, most people mispronounce it, it is a weird name and I am used to it.  So, you guys have a nice day.

Volunteer center:  O.K., Margie, you have a nice day, too.

And, I was the person who sort of, kind of wanted this meeting in the first place, and now I am not going to be there.  Hmmmm, I hope that I was not on the agenda.  I suppose Mary can call and put me on speaker-phone or something if it is important enough.

So, anyway, my car is in the shop because on the way home from having tea with a friend my brakes failed.  Like right down to the floor, no stopping, failed.  Fortunately, I live in a quiet place and there were not any other vehicles breathing down my ass, so I kept on going forward, having already drifted past my turn, and pulled over onto the shoulder of the road.  I called the repair place and told them that I was on my way over.

Everyone who fixes stuff was on their lunch breaks, natch, so I hung around until someone could drive me home.  We do not have bus service out here, it having been available until, gosh, at least six years or more, when the township could no longer support it.  That left a lot of us in the lurch, as the next closest bus stop is more than three miles away, not so great for those of us who have mobility problems.  I have no idea how I am going to get back there when the car is fixed in a few days.

I was planning on being cranky for a while, but having that telephone conversation perked me right up.  I just love when that sort of thing happens.  Lovely humans.

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