Wednesday, August 3, 2011

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 88

Breakfast:  Eggs, bread
Lunch:  Chicken salad sandwich, most of an apple, cherries
Dinner:  Japanese

My god, only twelve more days and I am wondering what the hell I have to show for it.  Sure, I did lose some weight, two clothing sizes worth and I caught a glimpse of myself in the big mirror in the employee rest room today and I do look a bit less gigantic.  However, I make use of a mirror only on rare occasions, and do not know if I can trust my memory.  I brush my teeth and wash up and put on my makeup with a tiny, magnifying mirror and see only a small area of my face at a time.  I brush my hair with my eyes closed because it hurts where I had the nerve damage and it seems less painful when I have my eyes closed, and yes, I know how dumb that sounds, but if my imagination can create even a small reduction in the pain, then so be it.

Today was a stressful day at work.  Another client wanted to fudge information on his résumé, and when I tried to schmooze him out of it, he would have nothing to do with it and left.  Just stomped out of the door.  Being in the right and holding to ethics is a difficult job some days.  When it goes awry, as it did this afternoon, it is a terrible, tummy-roiling, second-guessing experience.  I suspect that it would have continued as we worked, even if I had pulled a solution out of my big girl panties, which is what I use since I do not wear a hat.  Of course, I have to excuse myself to the restroom and pretend that I "found" the solution on the way back, but sometimes a babe just has to do what a babe has to do.

I have spent the afternoon, alternating between sadness that he would not let me help him and tummy upset that I could not figure out how to handle him when he was there.  Just a mess all around.  It does help that I received complete and very satisfying feedback that I had done exactly the right thing, but try telling that to my stomach. 

Even so, I managed to choke down enough calories at the restaurant tonight to keep me going through the night.  My waiter brought me a tiny ice cream cone as I was leaving, so that helps.  He was nice enough to not say anything about the amount that I ordered and ate, which saved me from going all angsty by working it out in my head that he might actually be saying that I usually eat too much.  Seriously.  See how fucked up I am about this?  Crap.  My name is Simpleton, and I am an emotional eater. 

Anyway, with fiber club and dinner it has been nearly fifteen hours since I left the house this morning and I am going to go and reintroduce myself to the zombies or supernaturals or whatever the heck they are.  Oh, and I brought home a new zombie fillum today and it is about a zombie prom.  How freaking cool is that going to be.  Even A, one of the circulation babes, told me that it is super cool good and dreamy and, like, oh, my, god, I am going to love it!  And, I am sure that I will, but not until tomorrow.

As for today, I want a do-over.  I want it badly and I want it now.  Well, not now, but soon.  After I groove on the zombies and get some sleep.  It seems as though those two things would not go together very well, but they do. 

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