Lunch: Flash-sautéd kale, curried chicken salad
Dinner: More chicken salad
Man, less than three weeks left and I am only marginally healthier.
This sucks. Sure, I am eating better food, less food, less often.
Sure, I am still fat, not quite so fat, slightly less flabby and
jiggly. Not enough for eighty-three days of effort. I suck.
I got more done, but in doing so I had to drag some things out of a
closet, so it has the physical appearance of a day spent moving
backwards in the divesting department. I can look over and see the six
boxes of stuff that are going to the charity shop tomorrow and to coffee
with me, plus the big coffee machine that one of my coffee friends is
taking off of my hands. That is good, because the Krupps machine is not nearly the burden that the loom was, is, will always be. I can handle the leaving of the Krupps.
A loom is a wonderful thing, you just need lots of room and enough money
to keep it properly fed. I received a reply this afternoon from one of
the many calls I made to friends that weave. It was my friend, L; we
used to work at the bookstore together. Not only does she not need or
want another loom, she told me that the one she already owns has been
sitting untouched for the better part of this year. Money and time.
So, anyway, I really could have used a nap sometime today, but the
two-person gossip and criticizing society was at it...me...again today.
Why I care about this is a genuine mystery to me. Perhaps if I never
heard them saying stuff about me it would not matter. Well, that was
dumb. If I never heard it I would never know it, so it would not have
the opportunity to stab me like it does because I do hear it. Just
plain mean. I have to stop caring. You know, I do know that allowing
what someone does and says to hurt me is a choice. I know that. But, I
just cannot figure out how to stop these feelings. What I need to do
first is to stop caring about someone who is not me. Just because.
And, because I have to stop thinking and writing about this all the damn
Well, I am off to take the boxes to the van so that I do not have to do it in the morning and arrive at coffee all sweaty and messed up.
I need a pudding cup. No, what I need is to be a better person so that I do not have to be so sad all the time.