Friday, July 29, 2011

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 83

Breakfast:  Eggs
Lunch:  Flash-sautéd kale, curried chicken salad
Dinner:  More chicken salad

Man, less than three weeks left and I am only marginally healthier.  This sucks.  Sure, I am eating better food, less food, less often.  Sure, I am still fat, not quite so fat, slightly less flabby and jiggly.  Not enough for eighty-three days of effort.  I suck.

I got more done, but in doing so I had to drag some things out of a closet, so it has the physical appearance of a day spent moving backwards in the divesting department.  I can look over and see the six boxes of stuff that are going to the charity shop tomorrow and to coffee with me, plus the big coffee machine that one of my coffee friends is taking off of my hands.  That is good, because the Krupps machine is not nearly the burden that the loom was, is, will always be.  I can handle the leaving of the Krupps.

A loom is a wonderful thing, you just need lots of room and enough money to keep it properly fed.  I received a reply this afternoon from one of the many calls I made to friends that weave.  It was my friend, L; we used to work at the bookstore together.  Not only does she not need or want another loom, she told me that the one she already owns has been sitting untouched for the better part of this year.  Money and time.  Yep. 

So, anyway, I really could have used a nap sometime today, but the two-person gossip and criticizing society was at today.  Why I care about this is a genuine mystery to me.  Perhaps if I never heard them saying stuff about me it would not matter.  Well, that was dumb.  If I never heard it I would never know it, so it would not have the opportunity to stab me like it does because I do hear it.  Just plain mean.  I have to stop caring.  You know, I do know that allowing what someone does and says to hurt me is a choice.  I know that.  But, I just cannot figure out how to stop these feelings.  What I need to do first is to stop caring about someone who is not me.  Just because.  And, because I have to stop thinking and writing about this all the damn time.  Crap.

Well, I am off to take the boxes to the van so that I do not have to do it in the morning and arrive at coffee all sweaty and messed up. 

I need a pudding cup.  No, what I need is to be a better person so that I do not have to be so sad all the time.

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