Wednesday, July 27, 2011

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 81

Breakfast:  Eggs
Lunch:  Soup, bread/butter, chocolate pudding snack cup
Dinner:  Japanese

Long day, needy clients and I was too tired to eat much for dinner and then forgot my leftovers at the restaurant.  Man.  They would have made a great lunch.

However, I did find a home for my loom.  A good home, too.  It is one of the women in my fiber club.  She missed the past few weeks and did not know that it was looking for new lodgings.  She is thrilled, although a little overwhelmed by the suddenness of having something that she has wanted for a long time.  I am delivering it tomorrow and I told her that if I have time, I will even dust it.  I am really, really happy about this.

So, anyway, in the quest for a home for the loom, I told nearly everyone I know that it needed to get out of here.  One of the employees said that she might have someone who would take it, so I gave her my telephone number.  I found out today, when she told the story in a fuller than usual lunchroom, that she had called my house and been told that I do not live there.  Twice.  She called a couple of days later, just to make sure that she had dialed the number correctly.  She was also told, when she insisted that I have given her the number, that I am sometimes there, but that she could not leave a message.  When she begged to do so, she was told that she could leave it, but that he would not give it to me.  She did.  He didn't.  And, now the whole joint knows my crappy business.  This sucks on so many levels. 

I think that the worst part is that he thought I would never find out, mostly because he was so beastly to her.  And, now I have to wonder how often this has happened before and I swear that it is taking every molecule of strength, should strength actually have molecules, to not weep for a week or two about this.  The really and truly worst part is that this is one more illustration of how stunningly stupid I am.  I hate to admit it, but I suck even more than everything else that has happened in the past month or so. 

I know that I can keep taking the hits and keep going, but I just want to run away somewhere.  Last night I had a dream where I was at a police station, way back in their parking lot, in the dark of a bunch of trees.   Still, someone noticed me there, sleeping in my car and told me that I had to move on and I kept begging to please be allowed to stay, but they made me drive away anyway.  I woke up thinking that there really is not any safe place in the world for some of us.  Not even hidden, way back, in a police station parking lot.  Not even in a dream.

On a brighter note, I did make a relatively successful granny square at fiber club today.  I still messed up where I got to the point of joining the rows or rounds or whatever they are called and forgot to use the short chain as one of the three double-crochets, so it looked like it had been slashed and had a scar form over that section, from the second round to the fifth.  So, I frogged it and I will start again, with a slightly larger hook so that it is not so dense.  I have no plans for what to make or what to do with it, so I thought that I might just keep going around and around until I use up the skein of yarn.  Maybe it will be the top layer on a small rug or a huge cat bed or something. 

So, something nice to give some balance here.  Getting close to making the ultimate granny square and my lovely loom gets a new home.  I guess I can live with it.

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