Breakfast: McDonald's, scrambled eggs, one of those potato slabs, a sausage patty, a pancake, I think that was it
Lunch: Jalapeno muffin with cream cheese
Snack: Grapes, cherries
I had to wait for the car to be repaired this morning, so I planned on
walking across the parking lot, down the street a bit and into
McDonald's to wait and to have some food. It was surprisingly good,
like really good. I did not eat all of the breakfast thing (maybe
platter or something like that), but it was nice. I had a senior coffee
and a huge soft drink later, whilst I read some free newspapery
I took a library book, but could not concentrate, even though it was about zombies...lurve 'em.
Lunch was the other muffin from Tuesday. I am glad to have bought only two, because they are also really delicious. Dangerous.
Dinner, well I just am not hungry. Another minor thing, much less than
Monday's, but just as hurtful. I am so sick of myself, that this crap
continues to be something to which I simply cannot avoid responding with
such sadness and pain. I am a grown-up person and these assaults
should not mean a rat's ass to me. Seriously. The constant picking and
sniping is tiring, but I should be able to ignore all of it. Man, I
have so much more freaking work to do on myself about this stuff.
Double-freaking-man. I probably should eat something, else I will be up
in the middle of the night, roaming around and looking for something
easy to eat.
But, I probably will not because I am worn out and can hardly stay
awake. So, it is off to bed, an early night and I will not be able to
go outside and have that martini I have been promising myself all day.
No energy for making a GP. I really do not care about anything
pleasurable now. I suck. Hey, Diary, so much for my plans and decision
to not complain, moan, groan or whine. Yeah, sucky day.
Amongst all of the other puzzlements, I keep wondering how I can be
eating so little and still not be losing any real weight. And, I must
look like total crap, because at least six people at work yesterday
asked me how I was feeling and another person at the car repair place
asked me the same. Great. At least I have new underwear, which makes
me so excited that I can hardly stand it...new socks, too!!!! O.K.,
then, things are beginning to look up. Yeah, right.