Breakfast: Sandwich at Panera, it is Saturday, after all
Lunch: Phở from my favorite noodle place
Dinner: Nothing yet, but will probably be soup and crackers
Snack: Some Tostito's jalapeno chips and cherries
O.K. Panera. Seriously, if you are going to sell a bagel called Jalapeno & Cheddar Cheese,
is it even the teeniest bit possible to have some jalapenos actually in
it and/or to have it taste even the teeniest bit like either the chili
or the cheese? Or both, for crying out loud? Even the poor folk taking
orders and money and making the food are puzzled. They were nice and
offered new sandwiches to the two of us, which we declined, and then
offered some pepper jack cheese to add to our pathetic sandwiches, which
we also declined. It is not their fault, they were super-duper nice
and helpful and tried to make up for the sandwich's shortcomings, but
the breakfast stuff there is a constant disappointment and I will not be
ordering anything of the kind again. At least the coffee was better
than usual. I do, however, like their salads, which are quite nice,
fresh and yummy, as well as their little rolls or baguette slices or
whatever they serve with that, although I always take the apple. We go
there infrequently because only one of the ladies likes it there, and
since there were only three of us today, I was able to convince the
third woman to meet us there. I mean, even if a place is heinous, and
one of the group likes it, then you can go there once in a while.
Unfortunately, we have to wait until the more vocal and reluctant
members are off doing something else. Really, we should go places that
each person likes, not just the places that everyone likes. You know?
This kind of disappointment will always happen, because the people who love Panera
simply love it and the company does not have to do anything to fix this
stuff, which I am guessing they think is minor problem, or a
non-issue. And, the corn chips with jalapeno (just a hint or something
like that) made up for the bagels, and were nicely spiced and a huge
improvement over the pathetic bagels. Plus, the chips were free because
I had a coupon.
I rarely use coupons because I can never
remember to bring them along to the store and when I do put them in my
bag I forget to use them, even if the checker asks me if I have any.
Yes, I am that lame.
I did get two more of those yummy jalapeno muffins, and a focaccia
that is full of spicy slices, too, but not a whole lot of tummy-busting
cheese. All of it is being sliced and frozen so that I do not have
some kind of breakdown and eat all of it before I go to bed. Even the
prospect of shame could not keep me from scarfing every crumb, thus, the
freezer to the rescue.
They had nice cherries and I have been
munching on those all afternoon. Very yummy, but a bit too many, so I
probably will not have any dinner tonight.
Lunch was the second best part of the day...the first best was being with friends. I had phở
at my favorite place. I have to go by myself because I cannot
convince anyone else to enter the place, much less eat there. I am
getting to know the people who own the place/work there and they are
going to double the size of their restaurant as soon as the health
department makes their inspections. I guess there is a waiting list or
something. They are planning to open a second place near to where my
daughter lives. We could take the boys there, as they love Asian food.
took another load to the charity shops this afternoon. Man, there are
places here that are looking kind of bare, which is fine because that is
sort of the point of getting rid of stuff. I took a few of my most
favorite books to coffee this morning, and they have found new homes. Yay.
I will be filling the back of the van with books a couple of times next
week and am totally not looking forward to it. I wanted to start
today, but taking all of those lovely friends off of their dusty shelves
is further fracturing my already bruised heart.
It has to be
done. They all must go. I have to finish this book divestment. I just
have to. I mean, what if there is something waiting to enter my life,
something good for a change, something or someone who is not going to
curse me or smash me in the mouth or stab me in the back, and it/they
cannot manifest because my house is full of freaking books? What if?
what about the other stuff? I might have a new home for my loom, but
the kiln and other clay stuff is going to be more difficult. Both are
expensive enterprises, and I totally understand that taking either of
them on is a serious commitment. Oh, god, just let me survive the
I am not going
to dwell on this past week, well, not if I want to stay sane, but I
cannot help but think of these assaults as an earthquake. With plenty
of aftershocks, because the perps are so positive that they know
everything and what they want should be perfectly acceptable to everyone
else. And, these aftershocks are not helping me in the whole
Or, it could be that they are right and I am
just a stupid and pointless and redundant fool who simply does not
'get' whatever it is that I am supposed to be 'getting'. At some point,
do you just have to surrender and admit that you are totally fucked up
and clueless? What if holding on to my ethics means that I am
certifiable or out of step...and touch...with the modern world or
something? What if trying to be a good person, tread lightly on the
earth, grow my own damn food, make my own damn soap and clothes and
other stuff is the hallmark, the identifier of a person who is trying to
live in a way that is no longer viable or that even makes sense? Did I
get left behind because I was not paying attention?