Lunch: Apple
Dinner: McDonald's with my baby and her babies
Forty days. Forty nights, too, I guess. How biblical. It seems as though I expected to breeze through this mess of an idea. And, certainly, by this time I should be as healthy as it is possible to be and perhaps even a little svelte. Or, at least, a little less bulgy, which I am, but not very much. I am, however, walking like a champ. I rarely even think of my cane, although I will be taking it along this weekend and on future trips, no matter how long they are. It would be foolish to be stuck somewhere and not have anything to help me get around. In the support of honesty, though, I am taking a whole shitload of pain meds, but I am still managing with the cane. That has to count for something, yes?
I had this goofy feeling just a few minutes ago. I spent the day with my daughter and the babies. We played and made stuff and created stories with cars. Actually, it was the little baby who made up the stories. I just played along. His big brother helped me to knit and was sad that he could not handle the needles, and I was thinking that he might be able to manage one of those round knitting things. Once I get the yarn set, it should be fairly easy for him to guide the yarns and lift the stitches. He has really good fine motor control and even managed to crochet a chain this afternoon, so the knitting thing is worth a try. If it does not work, then I will have that cool device for myself.
Oh, the goofy thought was that it felt fine to walk and that I felt better somehow. It might be that I am no longer choking and gagging and coughing out my remaining bits of lung, but it had a different quality to all of that tonight. I felt fluid in a way that I have not for a long time. I thought that being away from home for over-full days, two days in a row, and away from the crap here, might be contributing to that sense of well-being. Then, I thought that maybe clearing my schedule so that I can get back into organizing this joint better and finding my way back into the studio might not be what I need right now, the part of that where I will be staying home and in the house more. Then, I thought, what the hell. If I want to have a tidy environment and do some messing around with sculpting or painting or some damn thing, that is what I should do, so I quickly dismissed the option of filling my schedule to the gills again and am hoping that I can manage better with avoiding the stuff that saddens me so. I am going to give it my best shot. Hope for the best. Regroup if I have to. Bitch, moan and complain as needed, but still get through it. God, I hope I can do that. If it does not work out as well as I would like, I can always fall back on stabbing myself into unconsciousness.
So, dinner. The little baby, at two and a half years of age, has never been inside a McDonald's restaurant. Sure, he has had the occasional burger and fries, I have even bought that stuff on my way to their house for lunch, but today was his first time inside one of them.
My daughter lives in a tiny town, so it was no surprise that the other mom and the dad that showed up in the playroom were toting children that are in my big grandson's preschool. The boys had a great time, especially when the dad growled and chased them. My little grandson was completely unfamiliar with the kind of play equipment they have there and it was nearly time to go home before he could bring himself to cross the threshold at the top of the stairs. I would have been hesitant, too, because he had to leave the steps and step into a bowl. He finally did it, and I navigated him up to the next level, where he sat, walked around and told me about how he was at the airport, another place he has never been. They live a quiet, calm life and are just as simple as I am in their daily practices, you know, the day-to-day ones of ordinary life, so this was a big deal for all of us.
As a grandma, it was nice to meet my grandson's friends and their parents. I hope we get to do more of that sort of thing during this summer at the park.
I am trying to stay hungry, at least most of the time. I figure that it will help me to not overeat, the theory being that I will greatly reduce my appetite in the process, and to faithfully stick to standard portion sizes. I am not sure how close I stayed to that at our fast food dinner, but I did have a diet soft drink, a grilled chicken sandwich, no mayo and I ate only half of the bun, but I made up for it with lots of fries. And, catsup.
Early day tomorrow, so I am not sharing some things that I wanted and they will have to wait for another time. I am close to running out of GP images, but this one is named "I will stand by you."
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