100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 47

Breakfast:  Eggs
Lunch:  Japanese, very late, mid-afternoon
Dinner:  Diet Rite, cheese popcorn, orange sherbet

It seems that I have given up, yes?  I feel like I am still invested in this process, but the facts, and my ginormous butt, bear false witness to that.  Still, I begin every day with a joyful spirit and enthusiasm to eat well, get some extra walking in there someplace and prove to myself that I am capable of making and keeping a commitment.  Ending each day is much the same, enthusiasm-wise, but with the bitter knowledge of how I end up laughing in the face of my determination.  Hah!  Take that, Resolve!  Ho, there, Steadfastness, where do you think you are going?  Whoa, Tenacity, stop dilly-dallying and get everyone back on track.  Why do you think we made you the leader, just so that you could sit there, stick there and wave a pom-pon once in a while?

There are too many players in this whole thing...no wonder I cannot get it all together. 

I should be really upset about my lack of doggedness, but I am not.  I have had one kick-ass week and I am still feeling great.  I think that there is a new bone-on-bone place  rubbing away in my right hip, the nerve pain has amped up a bit on my face, and someone who is not me found a new way to manifest his inner, mean, (expletive-laced) bastard, but none of this seems to make any difference.  Not even the crazier than usual local folk who come to chat with me at work, and most especially the guy who came in to interview me as a potential employee of his to help him with his attempts to avoid being shut-down by the government because they do not want him to get the patents and produce the things he has invented that will save the world. It was a very interesting hour with him, I have not committed to being hired by him, declined his invitation to exchange telephone numbers and addresses and will not be going to his house to help de-bug it from the eavesdropping equipment the secret operatives have installed there, even though they taunt him by calling him on the telephone and telling him to put down his book and leave the house.

Truth be told, I think that the crazier than usual folk are my favorite kind of people.  They have found me at work and at the gallery.  It is never an inconvenience to have them stop by and chat away like they are making any kind of sense to be, because the whole world is not making any sense and it is my guess that those guys have a head start on the rest of us.  You know that saying about how just because you are paranoid, it does not mean that they are not out to get you.  Yep.

I am not a fan of Karen Kingsbury, but I accidentally watched a film made from one of her books this evening, and I like it.  A lot.  Like, really a lot.  I wonder if I am bi-polar and in the manic phase.  Really, that would explain so much. 

Whatever the cause of my decent moods, bless it.  And, even though it was not the best kind of choice to make for dinner, I am please by having eaten only orange food.  The only thing that would have made it complete would have been an orange soda, but the diet ones taste kind of icky and the regular kind tastes kind of not so great for my blood sugar.

Whatever is going on here, it is chasing the complaining right out of me, which is always a good thing.  And, I have a new Richard Laymon book to shiver my timbers tonight.  I hope that there is lots of gore in my immediate future.  So, on to the GP.

More hearts, I think.

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 41

Breakfast:  Nothing
Lunch: Sushi and a salad
Dinner:  Japanese, what can I say, I am weak

Lunch was actually just the sushi, as the salad had been prepared by an idiot, or a really frugal person, of the jerk variety.  Oh, gods, name calling, but you would too, if you opened your salad, jammed your fork into the container and came up with wilted, oozy, slimy, seriously discolored something that used to be lettuces.  At least I think they used to be lettuces, it was hard to tell, that is how foul that container of muck was.

I cannot say how that happened to be mine, but it sickened my lunch companion at the gallery and did the same to the poor market clerk who had to give me my money back when I returned it on my way home tonight.  I exchanged it for chocolate to enjoy on my weekend away, and the guy behind me said that anyone who had to experience that salad deserved chocolate.  He was right.

Dinner was nice and I am glad that I went, but I have to cut back on going there.  This last time, tonight, I overate and the worst part is that I did not feel the teeniest bit guilty.  It was still healthy, but I ordered too much, intending to take some home, but then sat there and finished when I realized that I would be out of town for the next two days.  Yeah, I know, that is a crappy excuse.  So, sue me for still being a slab and a slob.

Healthy-feeling-wise, I am doing well.  The day was nice and easy and I did not need any extra meds and felt comfortable until I came back home here to the sauna.  I think that viewing this place as a sauna is another healthy step in the right direction.  I get the benefits of sweating toxins out of my body every single day and never have to pay club dues.  It is like a health club membership for free, but without the weight room, pool, smoothie/juice bar, massage therapists or personal trainer.  Other than that, it is the same thing.

So, GP, named, I used to be stars:

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 39

Breakfast:  Creamy, dreamy, perfectly over-easy eggs, small hard roll, sliced in three layers, buttered and sprinkled with truffle salt
Lunch:  Herb mix greens, about 4 oz. diced beef (more leftovers), 1 medium tomato, splosh of vinaigrette
Dinner:  Japanese

When I was at the bakery yesterday, picking up some of their yummy cookies to take for my anniversary treat at the library, I bought six of their wonderful, tiny hard rolls.  If they were less plate-tectonic-y and all flaky on the outside and less chewy in the inside, they would probably be a few bites for the average person.  But, unless you live near to the city that is near to where I live, you may never have the privilege of enjoying them.  They go all hard and impossible to eat in two days, but were perfect this morning for dunking into the warm, luscious yolks, and that bit of truffle salt, oh gosh, it is just the best way to start the day.

I knew that it would be a long day with many challenges.  Weird how I know how the day will go like that, and I am never wrong.  If I sense that it will be an easy day, with at least one no-show and no bummed out clients, I plan on what I will do to catch up on all of that work that really never gets done.  Last week was like that...or was it the week before...no matter.  I knew last night that today was going to be one of those days where I would likely miss lunch and have to work late.  I am not sure that I like knowing, but it is what it is.

Anyway, I did not get home until 10:00 and can hardly stay awake to write.  Barely three hours of sleep because it was so freaking hot in here.  Outside, it was perfect sleeping weather.  Cool, but not too cool, with a nice breeze, a precursor to today's bluster, but last night it was lovely.  Unfortunately, the heat was set to 80 degrees and I could not find relief anywhere.  I was about to go sleep in the car when I finally found a small fan. 

This is nuts, and I have to find a small, window unit air conditioner that I am able to lift into the damn window.  We have central air, but, as I am constantly reminded, no matter how hot it is during the day, it mostly gets cooler when the sun goes down, even if it is only a few degrees, and since it does get cooler (by some definition on another planet maybe?), it makes sense to turn the furnace on and bring the temperature up and over what it is outside.  I swear, if the heat in here does not fry my brain I am going to stab myself until I lose consciousness.  I really, really will.  I swear.

So, anyway, I love, love and truly love the juvenile rabbits.  They are so cute and so funny.  One of them is hanging around the rhubarb and the storybook aspect of that pleases me so much.  He sits just under the canopy of one of the large, outer leaves and thinks that he is invisible.  If I make a move in any direction when he is on the lawn, munching on the stuff the birds toss off of the feeding stations, he freezes.  I stop.  I can see his eyes darting to the side, either tracking me or looking for an escape route.  There have been times when the two of us just stayed in place for more than ten minutes.  If I stay still, he will go back to chowing down and if I move again, he takes off into the rhubarb patch.  I sort of hate to begin harvesting there and ruin his domain.

Tonight, when I rounded the back of the house, he was sitting, chewing something, out there in the open and the drizzle.  I really had to use the bathroom, so I moved forward sooner than usual and he took off.  Or, she.  He/she is not telling.

I am so tired that I would love to indulge in some serious crankiness, but it was a wonderful day, full of really cool, interesting and dear clients.  The Walmart woman showed up and brought her mother along to meet me.  I managed to make the designs and images she wanted and still had time to join knitting club for an hour.  I stopped at the Japanese place and had a wonderful dinner, not too much, not too little...just right.  Off to find something to wash down an antihistamine, but first, a word from our GP.  More nested hearts.