100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 62

Breakfast:  Nothing
Lunch:  Japanese restaurant, where I was a good and healthy eater, without any icky stuff...health-wise, that is
Dinner:  2 smoked port chops

This might not work because my computer is being all wonky.  It has for the past two days and I am so hoping that it is my connection or something and not the machine.  Fixing this, my sweet baby, is possible, but it will severely cut into my traveling money.  Oh, no!!!

I just ran a full scan and nothing came up, except for a few dozen tracking cookies.  I am hoping that it is all of the research I have been doing here for work.  Lordy.  It might also mean that I cannot upload a GP today.  Frankly, I am still fighting that exhaustion from a few days ago and cannot dredge up the energy to really care.

So, anyway, I had to go out and get stuff for the weekend with the babies and decided to have lunch at my favorite place.  I heard, whilst dining there, that there might be a Chinese buffet place opening up in the near vicinity.  If that happens, and it is a nice place, I am going to have another temptation with which to struggle.  I will worry about that if and when it happens.  It is just that it is wonderful to go there, eat only what I want and have absolutely no waste.  Today was garbage day and I had to toss out too many things again.  There was all that lovely lettuce and greens that the refrigerator froze, which is guess is not exactly my fault, but our crappy appliance.  But, there were berries, a whole bunch of fresh ginger and the turkey that I had frozen a few months ago, taken out to cook yesterday and then forgot about it in the microwave until this morning when I had to heat up the cats' breakfast.  What a freaking waste, and it is usually worse than that.  So, dining out at a cheap place actually saves me money, and, I mean, how messed up is that?

Next was the actual errands, the market, where I bought food for me and for all of the special meals that I want to make for the babies and their parents this weekend.  I have offered take the babies tomorrow and send mommy and daddy out to play and then stay overnight so that they can either stay overnight somewhere else, or sleep in on Sunday whilst I wrangle the babies. 

So, I bought some of their favorite stuff and got home and there is not any of those cooler boxes anywhere.  The largest one I found was the one in which I take my lunch to work.  Clearly, the berries, tomatoes and other vegetables for the lunch kabobs, the thick slices of ham and roast beef, and let me not forget the frozen pizzas they love, well none of that, except for a few of the vegetables, is going to fit in my tiny cooler thing.

Where the heck are those things?  Maybe I got rid of them during the last big divestment, but I doubt it.  Wherever they are, they are in a place where I cannot find them.  That means that I have to stop at another market on the way to their house tomorrow to re-buy all of the fresh stuff, which was most of what I bought today.  Not a huge problem, because I can eat that stuff, and there is always a chance that it will actually be eaten and not tossed in a week.  I guess.  It just seems like a huge waste of money to have to buy that stuff twice.  I will get over it.  Sigh.

This is such a small problem and I am obsessing about it.  What a dork.  Besides, something came back to bite me in the ass today.  I have been keeping a relatively low profile and minding my own business ever since the whole threats from my friend's boyfriend a while back.  You know, even if someone asks for your help with something, they might have some other agenda that prevents them from being nice when you do exactly what they ask you to do, and then their boyfriend calls you and says seriously unkind stuff to you and, well, it is just a mess.  Kind of like that sentence.  Sorry, Diary.

Anyway, I offered help, support and a bit of advice to someone yesterday, prefacing it with apologies about how I hope I did not overstep anything.   I heard back from that person and it seems that I was, despite my cautionary stuff, completely misunderstood and that was shared with me with a huge helping of snark.  So, I apologized again, as sincerely and genuinely as possible, but I think that this whole mess might have irreparably damaged what, to this point, was only a tentative relationship.  Big picture wise, I guess that I took a risk, was rebuffed and no real loss for either of us, but it still bothers me that I upset that person whilst simply trying to be myself.  I think that is the most painful part of this, that being me is enough to make some go all snarkalicious on my ass.  It was a huge 'ouch' and since I rarely have to learn that kind of lesson twice, that person should be pretty darn safe from me from now on. 

It still stings a little, but I guess that is part of the learning process for me.  I just need to mind my own business.  Plain and simple.  Even if someone asks me to get involved (friend/boyfriend/crappy telephone message), I will resist and change the subject by pretending to have a stroke or an aneurysm or rabies.

So, early day tomorrow, and a busy one, too.  'Nighty-nite, Diary.  Maybe I will get lucky and have a dream about how I helped someone and did not make a huge mess of it.  Yeah, like that could happen, even in my dreams.  Lots more sighs.

Location is still broken, so here I am, all scrambled up, which is also part of the name of the GP that is slowly loading.  It is named Scrambled Hearts and, seriously, how appropriate is that!  You probably cannot see it, Diary, but in addition to the wonky heart in the middle, there are smooth places and choppy chopped-up places and part of hearts all over the place.

Well, let me give that GP a try.

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 51

Breakfast:  Nothing
Lunch:  Japanese restaurant  Yum
Dinner:  Frozen lasagna

It seems like the only breakfasts that I am eating these days are the drive-through ones on the days I have to be out and about early.  Not so good.  Have to do better.

Anyways, I was out returning library books, getting my meds and a couple of gifts, and I was sort of on my way home when I stopped at my favorite clothing store and I bought stuff.  Lots of stuff.  Three over shirts (one is a wonderful pale rose linen, yummy), two tops, 2 pair of socks (compression for my diabetic legs), 2 bras and some undies.  Whew.  Everything was on sale, like a big, huge sale and I spent a pittance on all of it.  I knew that it had been a while since I did any clothing buying, but they found me in their computer system and it has been more than six years. 

So, now I have nice summery clothing.  It is kind of nice.  I am trying to not feel guilty about spending the money, but with all of the traveling I am doing in the next few months and the presents and stuff for the babies, I mean, really, what difference is a bit more going to make.  This is the money left after paying the few expenses I have, so off and away with the guilt, I say!

I had an interesting conversation with the store clerk.  She mentioned that I seemed to be choosing sizes that are too large for me and gave me some items in smaller sizes, just to try.  She told me that my clothing is just kind of hanging on me, and I guess that she is right.  So, it seems that I have lost some weight and the stuff I bought is 2 to 3 sizes smaller than what I have been wearing.  So, bowing to her expertise, I bought the smaller sizes, but it feels weird and I know that I am going to miss having all that loose fabric behind which I can hide.  Sort of.  Anyway, it feels odd, mostly because I have been eating out so much and I know that I have gained back some of the flab that I lost over the past several months.  Weird.

So, short and shorter. I am now in the second half of this project and not even close to meeting my expectations.  Man.  There is some unpleasantness in my future, some bad stuff coming down.  I do not know if I am prepared, but whether or not I am, it is still coming.  I am going to find out if taking a stand and standing up for myself is going to work.  I can only do what I can do, and it has to be enough, yes?

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 35

Breakfast:  Eggs, maybe a quarter cup of hash browns, a pancake with margarine and syrup, tons of coffee
Lunch:  Restaurant meal, turkey breast, mashed potatoes, gravy, a tiny bit of cranberry sauce, some really excellent steamed, fresh broccoli, half a small roll, 2 glasses of diet cola, half a piece of french silk pie
Dinner:  Shame and a carton of Häagen-Dazs

I had breakfast with the friends this morning, followed by an extra (and long) session with a client who cannot come during the week, as she does not want her current employer to know that she is pumping up her résumé for a possible new job.  She is not sure she want to make the switch at this time, but has to make a decision by a deadline this week.  She is under the impression that I did great things for her, but the truth is that the most important work that I do with clients is to help them open that part or parts of themselves where the work can be done.  I am just the facilitator, just another tool.

Well, so far so good, yes?  Yes.  Then I picked up the woman that I take to lunch and her appointments and errands.  It was so frustrating that I told her that today's lunch was our last.  Today was the final scene that did me in.  So, no more of her making a huge fuss about money and how much I tip and all the rest.  The fussing she does with sales clerks is also to much of a strain.  I know that it is selfish of me, I do, I am selfish, but being embarrassed by her tirades against me and others when we are out and about is just too, well, embarrassing.  Humiliating to be on the receiving end of that all the time.  It is over.  From now on she gets three hours, door to door, no more meals, only errands and doctor appointments.  I doubt that she is taking this seriously.  And, you know, it is not my problem that she cannot get along well enough with her family to be able to live close to them.  I am willing to be her friend, but not her servant.

So, anyway, by the time the nearly seven hours today was over, I was exhausted and firmly ashamed of myself for not being able to be more patient.  I kept thinking today that I would want someone to be more patient and supportive of me when I am unable to get myself around comfortably, at least more so than I am able to be for her lately.  Seriously, Universe, please help me to be a better person.

Then, I had to stop at the market because there is not much food around here and I was totally dreading it, knowing how likely it was that I would buy all kinds of inappropriate stuff.  I mostly did fine, with lots of supportive self-talk and reminding myself that I will be traveling a bit over the next three weeks and that everything is going to be fine and 'no' I do not need that cake or those chewy rolls or that frozen pizza or even the chocolate covered strawberries in the produce department.  Really, baby, those strawberries need to stay right there, really they do.  It's O.K., put them back, you will be fine.  Really.  You will.

So, I went and got some meat and green peppers, cottage cheese, a few boxes of those low-calorie frozen meal things, eyeliner, cat food, more cat food and on the way to the checkout, I grabbed two cartons of ice cream.  Granted, they are the little 14 ounce-ers, but they are each a freaking 14 ounces!  Lordy.

I put them back.  Then turned back and took three, turned again, put two back, turned once more and took one of them and finally checked-out.  The interesting part, you know, aside from the total lack of self-control part, is that the four people in front of me were buying only alcohol.  Three customers buying cases of beer and the guy right in front of me with a bottle of whiskey.  I had the audacity to think to myself, hey, do you need any booze?  I stayed in line, but just barely.

Dinner was a half-hour ago and it was one of the cartons of ice cream.  I am wallowing in shame, spiralling in waves of shame and then I realize that it is only just a carton of ice cream.  It is dairy and it had lots of fruit in it, and for the moment I am in denial about the sugar, although the eggs could redeem this a bit.  It really could have been worse.  I could have chowed down on so many other things and whilst there is still another ice cream in the freezer, I think that my melty fail just now is not the end of the world, much less the end of me.

I will have my meat, salad and vegetables tomorrow for dinner.  I will choose healthy options when my daughter and I are out for lunch tomorrow.  I will have fun at church and with the babies and this is just a minor setback.

And, I will stay out of the market because I saw that those chips in the can, the salt and vinegar ones, are on sale and, well, I will just stay out of the market.

GP.  Simple, although I think a few more hearts might be in order.

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 29

Breakfast:  Eggs, 4 strips of pre-cooked bacon (yes, I am lazy on top of everything else), 4 squared of chocolate
Lunch: A lot of wonderful food, but slightly too much of it, at one of those really good buffet places.
Dinner:  Glass of red wine to help wash down the shame of lunch

I am doing this differently today.  Since I am not doing anything useful, I thought that I would write this in segments, as drafts are allowed here.  That is one of the things I most like about Google.  Whatever the product, you can always save in draft form.

So, anyway, I am just about to get ready to take one of my ss women to lunch.  I have limited these excursions to three hours, but she drags them out for at least an additional hour, which is still much better than the usual six to twelve hours she prefers.  I feel exceptionally mean about making these time restrictions.  She has only one other friend.  That friend is often cross and impatient with her, but if you have only just the two friends and one of them (me) has other things scheduled during the week, the one that is left is still your only other friend.

Now, with this time thing, I am going to be one of her cross and impatient friends, too, I guess.  I do not want to be that kind of friend.  It sucks to be that kind of friend.  But, I have to be, otherwise I would never have any time for myself.  This friend, today's friend, would prefer that I pick her up and take her places two or three times a week, not for appointments or anything, but just for social contact.  If I were not responsible for three other people just like her, I might be willing to do that.  But, I cannot, I simply cannot do all of that.  I can squeeze three such visits/trips into a week, but they cannot be all for one person.

Besides, none of the four people for whom I do this is willing to just go to the park and sit or take a lunch from home.  They are not interested in going to a mall or some other public place and just sitting and talking.  They all want to eat out and go shopping.  They can afford it, I cannot.  What they cannot do is to drive themselves.  For that they need me.  Well, I hope that they need and want me for more than that, but the truth is that I am not sure that it is for anything more than the driving aspect.  Even if that is so, I can still do this with one of them during the week.  Whilst I can often manage to avoid spending anything when they shop, it is nearly impossible to avoid having to fork out money at a restaurant, and it is absolutely impossible for me to take food from home along.  I try to eat before I leave to fetch them so that I will not arrive someplace and be ravenous, and then find the least expensive thing on the menu, but it still adds up.

I have no idea where she wants to go today.  She want to surprise me.  Yeah, she is sweet like that and looks to make these outings fun for me, too.  She buys a coupon book every year from some non-profit organization and likes to use those things to try new restaurants.  One of them, last month, was a hour and a half drive away, but it turned out to be one of the best places we have ever been.

Off to have fun!

It is official.  I totally suck at having a backbone.  I do and it is time that I just gave in and admitted it.  No freaking backbone, and to illustrate how that is, today's three hour lunch just ended at seven and a half hours.  It included a trip to a medium box store, where I found heirloom Roma tomatoes and a Black Krim.  Both are strong and sturdy and double-stemmed plants and are in the ground and awaiting a nice, deep watering in the morning.  Yeah, even people without backbones know not to water this close to nighttime.

As for the three hour limit on taking someone out, I really do give up.  I will save it for the times when I really cannot afford a minute more, as well as limiting these excursions to once every other week. 

So, I am wondering what the friendship of some of the people in my life means and where those relationships are going, if they are going anywhere.  The one who screwed me over is pretty much history.  We will still have to see each other at the gallery, but the connection is severed, at least on my end.  Frankly, if he could treat me like he did, there never existed any kind of relationship between us.  All in all, no loss for him and only some residual sadness for me.

And, today's friend, the older woman that I take places, well, what is that all about anyway.  I have to decided if I really am her friend and how I am going to accept who she is and just get the hell over myself.  I can do that.

Today's GP is an angel, just in case you cannot figure out what it is.

Yes, this really is an angel!

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 8

Thud.

That was me falling off the health wagon.  I made a nice splat.

Interjecting here to say that I just read this and whilst it might not seem to be strictly about food and all that, it really is about the process of becoming not only healthier, but closer to the person that I want to be, which can only be a good thing.  If I do not change some of the other stuff in my life, then just eating well, exercising (yes, I intend to do more than think about that...eventually) is not going to mean anything.  Have to work on being healthier in body, heart, soul, spirit and in relationship all at the same time.

Breakfast:  Nothing
Lunch:  Salad, lemon wedges for dressing; scallops, broiled, 6; baked potato, butter & sour cream, ate half; fresh roll, ate half, with butter; grilled vegetables, ate all; 6 oz. glass of wine, yep, all of it, approx. 1 cup creamed rice and chicken soup, sigh, all of it, with lemon.
Dinner:  2 ears of corn, butter, salt

In my defense, if you spread out everything that I ate for lunch over the entire 24 hours of today, it does not seem so bad.

This friend is the one from yesterday.  Last evening's phone conversation went well and then today's conversations went all to hell.  It is like a toddler testing you.  She gets all agree-y and then goes back full force and then some.

So, anyway.  I pick her up and she immediately begins with the weird stories, which I love by the way.  She either has known everyone on the North American continent, or reads enough of the tabloids to know just enough about everyone famous or infamous to weave stories about them.  I quail to know what she would know if she had computer access.  Past chats have included surprisingly intimate details about the Macy dynasty (or any other large, industrial or business enterprise) and all of their paramours and extended families, the movers and shakers on the entire Eastern seaboard and most of the players  cooks  chefs  celebrities on the Food Network, including the one who lives just down the street from one of her sons in the Hamptons and who was rude and selfish as a pig about helping out a Make-A-Wish sick kid.  Hmmm, I always thought that pigs were extremely generous, especially when it comes to their bacon.  Yeah, but what do I know.

Oh, and there are those stories that she keeps telling me about some diet doctor who was killed by his mistress, who was sent to jail and my friend just happened to be her cell-mate.  All right, I am making up the part about the cell-mate, but the story is very long and detailed about all kinds of other stuff about those people, whoever the heck they are.

It just occurs to me that she does not seem to know anyone or about anyone west of the Mississippi.  Ooooh, that was fun to type!

Anyway.

Big Picture-wise, none of this matters.  Really.  Except that she keeps asking for my opinion about what one of these famous people did and when I eventually am forced to reply, she brings in some other information that nullifies my opinion, you know, like it really matters anyway, but it is tiring to constantly be told that I am wrong about everything.

So, I keep asking myself why I spend time with her and it is because I like her and most of the time her stories, true or not, are amusing, but only if I manage to avoid replying.  So, for the past month or so, whenever she mentions anyone or anything I just say that I know nothing about who or what that person or thing is.  She then throws up her hands, literally, and says something like, "Oh, why am I asking you, why would I think that you would know anything."  I just smile and offer her a french fry.  It is mostly working.

Except for today.  Today she would not be denied.  I kept smililng and she kept insisting and I had trouble not letting any giggles leak out.  But, by the time our waitress finally came over, I was worn down sufficiently so that I ordered a meal like the ones I used to order before I decided to get healthyier.  Alrighty, let me be honest and rephrase that...before I decided to get healthy.  Yes, it is true.  I have no backbone or will power.

This is a small family restaurant, where you can order just about anything, but they have these meal things that include appetizer (like salad or soup course), entree, sides, wonderful homemade breads, dessert and wine.  I ordered.  Whilst I always refuse the alcohol, I asked for a glass of red today.  My friend asked me if I would drink her wine, I said "no."  She asked if I would eat her soup, I said "no."  She asked if I would eat her dessert.  I said, "No."  So, she ordered soup, wine and dessert right away, and then told the waitress all of the other things that she did not want, finally ordering the lamb.

I ordered my favorite.  I got the most wonderful scallops, perfectly broiled, which she criticized because they were not brown enough on one side, her lamb because it was too salty, her soup because she forgot between the time she ordered and when it was brought to the table that it was a cream soup and it was too salty, and on and on.  I called the waitress over, asked her to bring a bowl of the other soup for my friend and to put it on my bill.  It is a tiny place, with excellent accoustics and she patted me on the shoulder before she dashed off to bring the other soup.

The entire meal was complaints and stories and more complaints.  I ate every morsel of my meal, which was very healthy, by the way, but should really be a meal and some taken home for a light dinner or breakfast.  I did not lick the plates, but I did think about it.  I drank my entire glass of wine.  I ate nearly an entire roll.  I ate the scorned cream soup, which was amazing, especially when drizzled with the fresh lemon our sweet waitress brough for me when she saw me eating it.  I ate nearly half of my baked potato.  It had butter and sour cream on it; not a lot, but it should have had none.  I ate my entire salad, very healthy, lemon instead of salad dressing.  I did leave something, though, a 75% tip.  Well, she earned it.

However, since I have been eating so reasonably this past week, it was way to much, which I would have realized had I been eating more slowly, you know, like a normal person.

I was exhausted.  Can you deplete your adrenals in an hour?  Even if you cannot, I think that I did.  At least I declined dessert, although I am kind of wanting it right now.  Alas.

I also had an upset stomach from eating all of that stuff and barely made it to the restroom, where I left most of it behind.  Literally and metaphorically.  Was not so funny then, but it makes me laugh now.  

My friend wanted to go to the mall.  I declined, but had earlier agreed to take her grocery shopping and we did that.  An hour and a half later, we loaded the car and started for home.  She wanted to go out for coffee, which she kept talking about all day, saying that she could not have any because her doctor put her on a special diet.  I declined, reminding her that we both had fresh meat that needed to be refrigerated soon enough.  The ride to her house was punctuated by her thoughts that it really was not that warm out and that raw meat could be left out for hours without danger.  I kept driving.

Today's lessons are many.

Do not think that you have learned or relearned something about how you want to be in relationship with someone, because you might be closer, but you are not fully there and the Universe will bring you back to that lesson as many times as is needed.

It is in your best interest to not use food to self-medicate unpleasant feelings or uncomfortable interpersonal issues away.  If you do, you have to buy a bottle of Imodium and take some right away so that you can finish shopping for groceries.

If you are already feeling like crap, allowing yourself to get all tense about anything is not going to help you feel better. Even when you try to make it appear that you are playing 'nice', if you really do not have your heart in it, the other person might never notice or know, but you will and you will feel guilty and ashamed for not being your best self.  Although, acting all nice and everything is certainly preferable to acting as bitchy as you feel.  Truth be told, acting like a nice person is never a wasted effort.



Sometimes you just have to accept someone for who they are and get over yourself.  And, that means accepting the other person.  You can accept yourself for who you are, but that sounds like a very bad habit in which to indulge; it is much better to try to be a better person.

I cannot tell if I feel better, infection-wise, or not.  I guess that is a good thing, though.

And, speaking of guilt, another pleasure for the day:

100 Days Redux

The 100 days idea worked really well for getting me started in divesting all of my crap and actually doing a significant amount of said divesting.  So, I thought, just this minute when beginning this little posting, hell, why not try that again, babycakes!

Today is Day 3, mostly since I had two great days previous to now.

I am hungry all the time.  I know that this damned appetite of mine will settle down eventually, but if today had not been so busy that I could not fit in everything I wanted to do, well, I would have eaten stuff.

The day began with having an obligation to someone else, so no breakfast.  There was a tiny break in between that and the next thing, so I did what I had to do and used the drive-through at the only restaurant available.  There was a diner or coffee house or something right there, as well, but I did not have enough time to use either of them.  A quarter pound hamburger and a huge diet cola, which I needed as much...if not more...than the sandwich. 

I then did the second thing and moved on to buy the keyboard I need for one of the computers I use at the library, get new socks and, since I needed a flash drive I bought a Hello Kitty one.  I have to say that between socks without holes and that cute, little Kitty and her matching ear buds, I was having a very nice time.  Yes.  I was.

On to the grocery store for cash for WW and as long as I was there, I decided to shop for groceries.  Man, what a concept.  Anyway, fruit was not on the shopping list, vegetables were, but the sales were too good to pass up.  Strawberries, blackberries, avocado and tomatoes.  A huge box of spring greens and a small container of crumbled bleu cheese.  Salad dressing.  Chicken thighs, artichokes and asparagus.  Oh, dear, how did vegetables sneak in there?  More plain yogurt to have with the fruit, some eggs for hard cooking, and a package of those frozen hamburger patties.  I see people buying them all the time, so they must be good, plus they are easy to cook and because they are frozen patties to begin with, they will not rot in the refrigerator before I get around to cooking and eating them.  I threw out a stunning and shameful amount of food-gone-bad today.  Meat, cauliflower, eggs, cheese, salad greens.  Just fucking shameful.  I may not have bought the optimally healthy kinds of foods today, but I think that I did well enough to get by and it is my hope that none of it gets tossed because it is to smelly or oozy to eat.

The best part of shopping was that the drive-through burger gave me a little gastric upset and I had to spend more time in the grocery store restroom that anyone should have to spend.  I am kind of glad that it happened.  It is a nice reminder that that kind of food does not agree with my tummy.  I think that I will keep almonds and walnuts in the car just in case that fierce kind of hunger strikes again and I am not at home to take proper care of it.

Then, my energy broke and I went straight home, skipping the pharmacy and the WW meeting.  Fine.  That sort of thing is going to keep happening, although I am hoping to not dump the meetings any more than necessary.  If their process is going to work for me I have to go to the meetings. 

As I was sitting in the car, waiting to feel well enough to drive home, the radio was on and there was a news item about weight loss programs.  Jenny Craig was on the top of the good results of the study, and Weight Watchers was not.  WW got points for their new plus-something-something, but low marks for the lack of supporting research or something like that.  Whatever.  JC requires that you buy their food, and their membership fee is a whopping $400.00 per year.  Maybe that is why it works, it limits your choices and your ability to do other stuff.  Exactly how does that help me learn to eat in what passes for my real world?

As a bonus for not making everything happen today, when I was off to do the first thing for someone, I had my arms full of stuff for the second obligation.  In the process, I put a huge compartment box of beads on the roof of the car, along with a brand-new tube of jewelry adhesive.  They were the project for the second thing.  It was going to be cool.  Making as many bracelets and/or necklaces as the students could make in the time we have together. 

So, anyway, you have to know where this is going, I get to the school and, wonder of wonders, the huge box of beads is nowhere to be found.  I look everywhere, in every bag.  No beads.  Then, I stand back and stare at the car, like it is going to start talking to me.  And, then I see the space on the roof where the beads no longer reside because they fell off sometime during the early part of driving away from home this morning. 

Wherever they are, they are not going to be part of anything I do.  They were, still are, nice beads, really nice beads and whomever found the box is going to have big fun with them.  Taking them to the school was part of divesting them.  With any luck, most of them would have been gobbled up during the project.  They are still gone, just by a different route.

We were still able to do something, because I had a small ton of ribbons in the car, leftovers from another project.  We made braided key chains and bracelets.  I made a thing to attach my purse/bag to the chair when I go to restaurants.  Will not need it for the drive-through, but nice to have anyway.

I did not get what I needed from the pharmacy, nor was I able to go to a meeting or look for shoes in which I can walk with relative comfort.  I did, however, eat fairly well.

Very late breakfast:  drive-through burger and a large diet cola.
Late lunch a chicken thigh, two ears of corn, a cup of blackberries.
Late dinner was a huge salad, four cups of loosely shaken into the bowl greens, a medium tomato (which tasted divine), half a small avocado, two or three tablespoons crumbled bleu cheese, splash of oil dressing.
Lots of water all day.

Tomorrow is going to be more difficult.  I usually reward myself with dinner out, Asian, for a very busy and stressful workday.  I order mostly vegetables, a little shrimp and a bunch of sushi.  No sauces.  Maybe a soft roll and some rice, but not always.  Almost always fresh fruit for dessert when I actually order dessert.  Lots of lovely tea. 

Man, that choice, whether to go home for a late dinner or go out for a late dinner is slightly less than 24 hours in the future and I am already conflicted about what I am going to do.  I suck.  In my defense, my day is from shortly after 8 a.m. until after 7 p.m., a long, long day, with only a lunch break.  By the time I leave there, the prospect of a nice, mostly healthy dinner is one that is not easy to entertain.

I give up.  Going to bed, to try to find that darn library book that I have to keep renewing because I cannot find the darn thing, take a quick shower, read a bit and hope that I make the right dinner choice tomorrow.

Gosh, only 97 more days of this.  Thud.