Wednesday, June 22, 2011

100 Days toward a healthier life - Day 46


Brealfast: 3 eggs
Lunch:  1/2 roast beef sandwich, 3 strawberries
Dinner:  Japanese place

I am feeling pretty darn good.  I wish that I was not such an emotionally responsive person.  It would make my life much easier.  I would not over-eat when I am sad.  I would not over-eat in celebration when something great happens.  I would not cry all the freaking time.  I would not be so moody, cranky, bitchy or all over the place all the time.  I would not be so sensitive that the slightest disapproval from anyone would not send me shame-spiralling all over the place.  I would not worry about a tiny percentage of the stuff that has me stressing all over the place.

But, then again, I would also not be feeling so nice today.

I had the opportunity to be the person I believe myself to be, you know, that person who does the right things for the right reasons and is able to put others above her own, petty concerns and really do some thing meaningful.  I cannot give any details, but I was able to do that today.  I helped two people who have extraordinary life, cognitive and emotional challenges.  It was sensitive and difficult work, but I did exactly what I believe that 'good' person inside of me is capable of doing.

There is hardly a better feeling.  Tomorrow might be back to the same old crap, but, at least for today, I shone like a freaking star, hell, an entire constellation...nah, like a galaxy.  Yay me!

I do not even care that my hips hurts like a bitch or that my computer seems on the edge of a major breakdown and keeps disconnecting itself every ten seconds.

More GP hearts on the way, but for today it is all about the eyes.  Looking inwards or out upon the world, the eyes truly have it.

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