More rationalizing

So.  O.K., I may have to fire my dentist, at least for the short term.

She is a great dentist, probably the best in her town.  Over the years she and I have become friends.  When I was at the appointment earlier this week where the jaw thing was discovered/suspected, she and I were joking back and forth, just being smarasses, the usual stuff, and I noticed that her new assistant was looking at us strangely.  My dentist noticed too, and said to relax, that we were good friends.  The assistant relaxed and sort of got into the spirit of the whole thing, although I do think that she was puzzled that I was taking the whole jaw thing and the possibilities and consequences of some of those possibilities a bit too lightly.  Whatever.  It is what I do.

Anyway, during the work that I had done that day, she was, well, how can I say this...she was cranky and not very nice to her assistant, who is new, as in really new.  Even though she is experienced, she is new to this practice and, like any new employee or colleague, needs time to learn exactly how things are done there and get up to speed. 

Next.  I received a telephone call to see how I was doing and she was all over the place.  I just listened and let it go.

Today was more telephone calls from all kinds of people involved in this and she was just a weird.  One of the options is to pull a whole bunch of teeth, repair the jaw thing, let everything heal for months, as in like months, and then create and install implants.  That would cost thousands and thousands and more thousands of dollars.  I do not have that.

The second option is to pull the teeth, up to four of them, repair the jaw thing, let everything heal for only a month or so, and then create a bridge appliance to replace the missing teeth, which I totally and completely want to do because these would be the four bottom teeth, from the center to the right of my mouth.  This option would cost only four thousand dollars, including the extractions and all the extra visits.

Again, I never thought that I was a vain person, but I clearly am because I really do not want to go to work with that large of a gap in my smile.  Immature, selfish, vain, vain, vain.  Too freaking bad.  I want replacement teeth there.  Implants, bridges, whatever, just fill the damn gap.

So, I said that I would prefer, only because of the cost, to have the bridge appliance.  She then proceeded to argue me out of it.

Me:  But, X, the implants cost too much.  I want something there in the gap, but, seriously, who has that kind of money?
Her:  The implants are a better choice.
Me:  Well, at my age, it probably makes sense to choose the bridge.
Her:  That's not true.  Implants are there for good and they are easier to take care of.  They function just like natural teeth.
Me:  Yeah, but I still do not, will not have that kind of money.
Her:  Well, it's probably for the best because I have not done these in a long time and I really should be re-trained in how to do them.

Me:  Great, then no problem, the bridge it is.
Her:  Oh, I suppose that I could have the company guys come to me and refresh me.  (That made me laugh a little in my head)
Me:  Well, I still think that I prefer the bridge.
Her:  You do know that all of those teeth on the bottom in little, right?  And that the bridge would have to connect to them?

Me:  Yeah, I know, but I cannot get the implants.  I really cannot.
Her:  Well, the training is expensive and takes a long time, and I really do not have the time right now, so I guess that is best then.
Me: Cool.

There was so much more of the conversation and it just got weirder, something about maybe she still has the molds she took of my mouth a few years ago, maybe they are in the back someplace, maybe.  Now, why should any of the matter?  A sensible and thinking person would do her best to find another dentist to do this part of whatever we end of doing.  And, doing it soon because I am counseled to not wait long to decide and begin the process, as in begin the extractions and jaw thing fixing next week

It matters because I care about her and she has just come out on the other side of a year of really crappy personal experiences that included the death of someone close to her.

This is where, if you are going to insist on maintaining a friendship that grew out of a business relationship, that you just pull up your big girl panties and have a conversation, clear my head of all the negative noise, and either have her go ahead and to the extractions prior to fixing the jaw thing or find another dentist to do the work.

If the friendship is strong, well it survives.  If it is weak, then it dies the natural death it should.

I should have called her back at the office this afternoon and had this conversation or arranged to go in after clinic hours and have at it.  I just could not bring myself to do it.  I could still call her at home this weekend, arrange to get together and have this conversation, but I know that I will not do that, either.

I am wasting precious time, as finding and achieving an appointment with a new dentist is going to take more than the couple of days that I have.  It could take weeks, months.  I am a procrastinating time-waster.

I should just go and make that smoothie, but I think that I will grab a kitty and go rest, read the last of my zombie book and, with any luck, have a nice nap and wake up to find that this whole damn week was just a crappy dream.

And, you know, this whole thing is not serious, as in life-threatening, just tedious and potentially weirder than this week has already been.  Big girl panties time.  Lordy.