D Day

As in dentist decision day.

Tomorrow I will have to act on the decisions with which I am struggling regarding my stupid and inconvenient mouth issues.  Jaw thing.  Pain in the ass and did I mention inconvenient?

Well, I guess that having something expensive is never convenient, but this, on top of the whole freaking mess around here, is, oh, it is like looking for your lost cat, slipping on the mossy banks of a mighty river, sliding down and down towards the surging foam, managing to grasp and barely hang on to a rocky outcropping and then having your kitty come, stand on your fingertips and purr like the dickens whilst kneading her spikey, little claws into your knuckles because she is so damn happy that you found her.

Anyway, I have decided to make an appointment with some other dentist, one that specializes in extractions, implants and bridges.  I know that my dentist is fully capable of doing all of this, but she is totally freaking me out with her odd behavior.  So, after I have the new appointment with the new dentist, I am going to make an appointment with her.

We will sit down, get comfortable and then I will share my betrayal with her.  I just totally suck, but I have already paid nearly $350 for the appointments last week, and I just have to make sure that any further work will last longer than the twenty-four hours she expected the bracing of my crowns to last.  Huh?  She is going to be upset, I am going to be upset as well, and I have a five day start on her in the whole freaking upset department.

I had a dream that indicated that this would all turn out fine.  I trust these kinds of dreams and I am not making any exceptions this time.  I have faith.  Yeah, in a stupid dream, but it is working for me right now.

How I am going to pay for all of this really expensive jaw stuff is a concern.  I write "concern" like I am wondering if the kale is going to be fresh at the market this week, or if I am going to have time to go to the post office tomorrow.  SWINM promised that I would be able to have dental care, but I have such a bad feeling about this, and that this will be just another broken promise.  A new dentist is going to insist on some kind of immediate payment for that first visit, and, gosh, it is just too much worry.  I have to get the dental and medical care to find out the extent of this jaw thing, have the disintegrating teeth removed and replaced somehow, and do whatever is needed to fix the core problem.

You know, it would be different if I did not take such stellar care of my teeth.  I brush and floss at least twice a day, after every time I eat.  I scrub my tongue and use those little brushpicks, and often floss as well, after every single meal when I am not at home.  I have my own scalers and clean my teeth thoroughly each week.  That recommendation that we should have our teeth professionally cleaned twice a year?  Well, I always did that until SWINM cancelled my dental insurance, but even then, my cleanings took barely ten minutes, or so, in the chair, because I really do take excellent care of my mouth.

If you go through life being a good person, doing good in the world and all that jazz, and still manage to expect some kind of fairness or something, life will be one heartbreak after another.  It is just that I am a really and truly good person around here and I am still treated like crap.  There must be something majorly the hell wrong with me.

Maybe I will have another dream tonight that figures it all out for me.